I saw a certain ridiculous advertisement on my Facebook wall.
(By the way, isn’t it creepy how Facebook knows EXACTLY what to advertise to me? It’s profiled me as a woman in her forties, so I get ads for cleaning products, wrinkle cream, and those panties you can pee yourself in and supposedly no one will know. To my younger friends who are thinking, “Ewwwww”– Just you WAIT!)
But I digress. It mostly gives me mom-related ads like these:
Just HOW does this solve the problem of having multiple kids?
Does it help moms grow extra arms?
Can it help restore a mother’s lost sanity?
At the very least, will it block some of the horrific noise generated by multiple children?
Little Boy often likes to sleep on the floor of his room, even though he has a perfectly good bed.
So the other day when I saw a blanket-covered lump on his bedroom floor, I strode carefully around it when I went inside in the morning to open his blinds and wake him.
Then I was surprised to find a second lump over near the window, and noticed that this lump had actual kid feet sticking out from under the blanket. I realized that this was really the kid, and the other one was a decoy.
Still, it looked so real, I wondered if maybe Little Girl had come in during the night to sleep in her brother’s room, even though this is something she had never done that I know of.
I cautiously poked the lump with my toe and discovered that it was Tommy, the stuffed elephant.
Tommy is a BIG stuffed animal, as you can see.
By this time Little Boy had woken up and was beyond delighted that he had fooled me. He showed me how he had arranged the blankets just so, making it look like a person was under them.
I told him he was quite the trickster. That night, he decided to repeat the joke, apparently.
I looked into his room after he had fallen asleep and found he’d set up multiple blanket decoys all around.
I honestly had no idea which lump was my kid in there. I could only be sure that he was NOT in his bed.
Over the weekend I went to a Christian ladies conference in Colorado Springs. (It was wonderful of course.)
One of the things they had there was a representative from the company 3 Seams, which is one of those fair trade type things where they help women in third world countries make a living wages sewing clothing or making jewelry. They had the beautiful wrap things for sale with pretty colors and soft fabrics.
The girl demonstrated how you could wear it as a jacket or a scarf or whatever and lots of the ladies were buying them. Everyone who had one looked great in it. It was like something all the cool ladies had.
I passed the table like twenty times and finally succumbed on the last day and bought one in a gorgeous blue color. I was super pleased with myself and my purchase. I was ready to be cool like everyone else.
Then I came home and got ready to wear my fabulous new wrap in real life.
Somehow, it just doesn’t look as good on me as it did on those cool ladies. And from the back?
My 17-year old said, “Mom, you look like a giant M-n-M!”
Wow. Well, at least the craftswomen in Cambodia got a fair wage out of it.