Have you ever ordered something from a catalog that looked nice in the picture and then turned out to be horrifically ugly when you received it?
This just happened to me with a Christmas present I ordered. What looked like a really nice purse in the catalog photo arrived in the box and…
Ugliest. Purse. Ever.
What had looked like a nice beige owl shape was actually a giant gold lame monstrosity. Its huge eyes seemed crazily drugged rather than pleasantly sleepy. The background color that had appeared a trendy teal and brown floral was inexplicably green and orange blobs instead.
It was bad. Unfortunately, it was going to cost me almost as much as the horrid thing had originally been priced in order to return it to the mail-order company.
Still… If I gave that thing to my niece I’d never live it down. I would be forever in family lore as the Aunt Who Gave the Worst Purse for Christmas. People would try anything to avoid having me draw their name in the family lottery.
Should I give it to charity, I wondered? But I knew even the homeless wouldn’t want this thing.
I decided to just pay to return it after all.
I sent it back to the catalog with “Not as pictured” marked as “Reason for return.” (Since “Ugly as Sin” or “Appearance wounded my retinas” were not choices on the form. Surprisingly.)
I was waiting in line at the drugstore when the cashier asked the lady in front me for her ID. She was required to actually get the ID card out so it could be scanned into the register.
The cashier had trouble scanning it in and the manager was called. The military ID was exchanged for a drivers’ license. Confusion ensued as the manager tried using the laser scanner, the credit-card swipe, and finally manually entering the ID number.
The lady looked at her purchases and wondered, “What am I buying that I need ID for?”
I wondered also. There were no cigarettes or alcohol among the items.
The cashier said, “It’s the acetone.”
“Nail polish remover?!” the lady said, surprised. “Really?”
Apparently it’s a controlled substance now. Along with spray paint and sudafed. Because you never know when someone will try to get high off of ordinary household items.
There is something wrong with this picture.
Another lane opened and I was able to purchase my own things, but when I left the cashier and manager were still trying to get permission form the register so that this poor lady could remove her nail polish.
It’s Pinterest Monday again! Today I’m tackling a tip that’s been circulating with this lovely pic:
Is that picture weird or what? Seriously. It looks like Barbie meets Magilla Gorilla.
This is a pinterest dead-end, meaning a picture with no website attached, that carried the comment: “1Tbsp of iodine 2% 1Cup of baby oil Rub your hairy area with the mixture and let set for only 5 minutes. Then gently wipe away with a damp cloth. Viola!!!! NO MORE HAIR! — worth a shot”
I was skeptical of this tip, to say the least. But I dutifully went to the drugstore and purchased 2% iodine and baby oil.
In preparation for this experiment, I also grew my leg hair for a week. Is that dedication, or what?
(No. I did NOT take a picture of my hairy legs. The above image was gross enough, thanks.)
I mixed the two ingredients and put it on my legs, waited, and wiped it off per the instructions. Here are my observations:
Baby oil and iodine do not actually mix; it just makes oil with brown blobs in it.
Iodine stained my white sink with brown splotches.
My legs were still hairy.
My conclusion? DON’T try this. It is not “worth a shot.” I had to soak and scrub the sink like crazy to get that stuff off.
On a more positive note, another pinterest tip worked slightly better.
I had never heard of baby oil gel, but it was in the drugstore next to the regular baby oil I bought above.
This worked well, although the gel clogged my razor and did not just rinse off. The razor cleaned off easily enough with soap; however, I sliced my hand open washing it.
(Note to self: Don’t use your bare hands to wipe a sharp blade. Duh.)
And it did keep my legs smooth for an extra day or two. The above claim of a week with no stubble is just ridiculous.
Anyways, the moral of this story is: If you want to get rid of unwanted hair: JUST SHAVE IT OFF!