That’s My Boy

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Little Boy is six years old. 

It’s a tough life for him because he has –count them!– FOUR older sisters. Even his twin sister is three minutes older than he is. 

The bright side of this is that he really knows how to get along with girls.  And he’s used to taking orders from them too!

Good training for becoming a husband one day, right?

He even knows how to sweet talk already. Whenever his teenage sister gets upset with him, he quickly says, “You’re beautiful, GG!”

Now who could resist that? 

A Conversation Between the Twins

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Little Boy: Do you know the name of my best friend at school ?
Little Girl: No. 
Little Boy: It starts with a D. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Dominick?
Little Boy: No. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Dustin?
Little Boy: No. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Just tell me. 
Little Boy: Dakota. 
Little Girl: Okay. 
Little Boy: But I don’t think you would like him. 
Little Girl: Why not?
Little Boy: Because he’s a boy. 
Little Girl: You’re right. I don’t like him. 
Little Boy: I thought so. 
Little Girl: If you see him you can tell him this. 
Little Boy: What?
Little Girl: Tell him I stuck out my tongue at him. 
Little Boy: Ok. 

The Anniversary Dinner

My husband and I have been married for twenty-one years. Therefore, we felt the need to spend a whole bunch of money on fancy food. I don’t exactly know why….

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The food was as delicious as it looked, but looking at the bill almost killed us.

Still, we had a great time. And of course, it was all about the conversation, and not the food, right? And if you’ve read about our previous “date nights” (see Valentine’s Day) you’ll know it’s always unpredictable.

Here’s a conversation sample:

  • Him: So my friend and I got into an argument about who is cooler: Michael Jackson or Jimi Hendrix.
  • Me: Seriously?
  • Him: Yep.
  • Me: But that’s obvious. Jimi Hendrix. No contest.
  • Him: Yeah I know.
  • Me: He actually argued for Michael Jackson? Over JIMI?!
  • Him: Yeah.
  • Me: Weird.
  • Him: So I made a power point–
  • Me: You made a power point?
  • Him: Well, just one slide.
  • Me:You made a POWER POINT?!
  • Him: Yeah.
  • Me. Okay.
  • Him: And it showed definitively that Jimi Hendrix was cooler than Michael Jackson. My friend had to concede defeat.
  • Me: Well, of course. I like Michael Jackson and all, but… he’s not exactly cool.
  • Him: Yeah. I may be a natural nerd myself, but I know cool.
  • Me: You sure do.
  • Him: And I can prove it with a power point….

This is Why We Don’t Go Shopping Very Often

I took the kids to “Bed Bath and Beyond” because GG (aged 14) wanted to buy a complicated hair straightening tool. I really don’t know why.

  • Me: But you already HAVE a hair straightener.
  • GG; It doesn’t work well enough.
  • Me: And besides, your hair is already straight.
  • GG; It isn’t straight ENOUGH.
  • Me: Whatever.

So the older girls went looking at the beauty items and I took the twins wandering around the store. The employees were less than overjoyed to see us.

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The twins  had something to say about everything there.

(in the home fragrance section)
Little Girl: Is this the candle that gives you a bad headache when you smell it?

(in the window treatment section)
Little Boy: Watch me crawl behind all the curtains! Whoops. Some of them fell…

(in the bedding section)
Little Girl: Is the reason they won’t let you sit on the beds because they are afraid you will fart?

(in the furniture accessories section)
Little Boy: Buy WHY can’t we buy this bean bag chair that looks like giant pair of lips?

No one was sorry to see us go…

It’s Graduation Season

We recently reached the last days of May, and that means EVERYONE seems to be graduating from something.

Last week I attended three separate events marking the end of my kids’ school year. None was particularly exciting.

I mean, let’s be honest. Graduation ceremonies are a complete snooze. You sit there listening to the names of what seems like a thousand students, waiting for the five-second window in which they say the name of the ONE child you came to cheer for and take pictures of.

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I spent hours clapping politely for a zillion kids I don’t know, and then ironically NOT clapping for the kid that I DO know, so that I can frantically snap pictures before said kid leaves the stage.

This picture is GG, who just “graduated” from middle school with a class of about 450. (Yeah. 450! And I sat there and listened to ALL those names!)

AND, may I point out, this is the kid whom I just watched graduate from elementary school only two years ago, in an equally boring but slightly less long ceremony.

I found myself wondering: Why am I doing this?

Now I’m not quite the curmudgeon that blogger Matt Walsh is –see his article “Congratulations Graduates, You’ve Done Exactly What You’re Expected and Legally Required to Do!”— but I’ll admit I get a little tired of having to watch kids “graduate” from preschool, kindergarten, fifth grade, sixth grade, eighth grade, et cetera. 

(And that’s only the ceremonies I’ve attended for MY OWN kids.None of whom has even finished high school yet.)

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image from myinternaldesign.com

I’m reminded of the conversation in the movie The Incredibles about this subject. The character Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) didn’t like the idea of attending such an inconsequential ceremony.

(Click HERE to watch the entire scene.)

  • Bob: It’s not a graduation! He’s moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade!
  • Helen: It’s a ceremony–
  • Bob: It’s psychotic! They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional–
  • Helen: This is not about you, Bob!

Aha! And there it is.

It’s not about me.

I do this because it’s important to these children to see me sitting there, clapping (and yawning) and supporting them

That’s all. And that’s enough for me.