I just flew across the ocean with my kids. Twice.
This is not the first time I’ve made this trip. Nor will it be the last, unfortunately. But this is the first time I’ve decided to make an illustrated alphabetical list about the trip.
Little Girl was highly suspicious of the apple juice on the airplane. “Why is it in a CAN?! It’s supposed to be in a box.”
One of the highlights of the trip was the display of (and discussion about) what Little Girl found in her her belly button.
- LG: What is this?
- Me: It’s just dirt.
- LG: EW! Dirt?
- Me: It’s no big deal. Everyone has dirt in their belly button.
- LG: Everyone does?
- Me: Yes, everyone.
- LG: Even brand-new BABIES?!
- Me: Okay. Maybe not everyone...
This picture speaks for itself, I think.
Diet Coke was about the only thing keeping me going on these marathon flights. Well, and M-n-M’s…
The problem with airline earbuds is that they are made for grown-up-sized ears. They simply refuse to stay in the ears of small children! I thought I had solved this problem this year by packing headbands to wrap around the twins’ heads and hold the earbuds in, but they still fell out. Over and over and over.
Perhaps I should have considered duct tape…
It still amazes me that they refuse to feed you ANYTHING while you are trapped on an airplane for ten hours. Unless you pay extra…
Boo (age 11) discovered there was a downside to having grown about a foot taller since our last overnight flight. She couldn’t get comfortable in her seat at all.
So she got enjoy my usual overnight flight pastime: Watching all the people who can sleep on airplanes snooze away… and HATING THEM ALL.
Truthfully I like it when the screens on the airplane show you how much longer you have to go until landing.
But I like it less when I have to keep reading it out loud to little kids, and translating the time into the number of minutes.
This problem wasn’t helped much by all the apple juice consumed on the flight.
There’s a point in the middle of a REALLY long flight when you think you’re not going to survive to see land again. EVER.
I have been there.
I just put in a little flashback here to last year’s trip to remind me that things could always be worse.
Because they can.
The twins were obsessed with the call-flight-attendant button once they’d discovered it, which was fortunately not until the last flight.
- Me: Don’t press the man button.
- Them: But what happens if we press it?
- Me: Just DON’T.
- Them: But what happens?
- Me: Please. Just DON’T.
- Them: Hey! I saw one in the bathroom too!
- Me: Don’t press it.
So to take our minds off the torture of overseas air travel with children, let’s go back and visit the torture of navigating giant airports with children.
Yep. Little Girl had a full-on panic attack at the top of the escalator and refused to go down. Meanwhile the rest of us, and her travel pillow, sailed down the escalator alone.
Another thing taking my mind off travel was the quilt I’ve been working on. I’m hand-sewing a quilt made of several thousand identically-sized triangles.
As of the middle of the trip I’d finished a center panel consisting of 36 squares, each containing 36 triangles. That’s 1,298 triangles all together, if you didn’t realize. And that’s not even the whole quilt yet.
Yes, that would be be the aforementioned apple juice spilling on my needlework.
Unfortunately, no tranquilizers were available.
Despite the apple-juice mishap, I continued sewing as much as I could. Although it is a problem to keep up with things in those tiny airplane seats.
It is REALLY hard to reach things when they fall under there.
But like I said, remember it could always be worse.
Once that crisis was safely averted, we settled back into mid-flight boredom.
There was some trouble when Little Girl caught sight of the safety information card.
- Her: Why does it show the airplane going in the water?
- Me: No, it’s just telling you what to do in case it goes in the water.
- Her: Why would it go in the water? It’s not a boat. It’s a plane.
- Me: Well, it wouldn’t. You’re right. We’re flying OVER the ocean.
- Her: So why does it show the people floating in the water?
- Me: Well, you know, just in case.
- Her: In case what?
- Me: In case the plane…goes down…in the water….
- Her: It might go down in the WATER?!
- Me: It won’t.
- Her: But what if it does?!
- Me; It won’t.
- Her: But the PICTURE?!
- Me: Let’s just put that away, shall we?
And now we are coming to the end of the alphabet, finally. Just as we EVENTUALLY came to the end of the airplane trip.