The Mechanical Kitty

Little Girl wanted a “Fur Real Friend” for her birthday. This is a pretend pet who acts like a real pet, except it needs batteries, and it doesn’t poop.

So I went to Wal Mart to buy one for her. I found a cute kitty one I thought she’d like and put it in my cart. I pressed the button on its paw and it meowed prettily, sounding just like a real cat! How adorable.

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Then I went to do the rest of my shopping. The kitty kept meowing, even though no one was pressing its paw. (Maybe it was light and motion activated, I thought.) It sounded so real that people kept turning to look, wondering who had brought a cat to Wal Mart.

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After I’d finished shopping, I put my purchases in the car. The mechanical kitty kept meowing all the way to the car, and all the way out of the parking lot and into the street. That thing would NOT STOP! It was starting to really bug me. Why wouldn’t it shut up?

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I parked and crammed it into as many plastic bags as I could find in the car, hoping to block the light/motion censor so it would be quiet. I put the shrouded box into the back of the car.

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Then I waited. The kitty was silent. FINALLY! I started driving again, and….

Oh no. 

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It’s Hard to Be a Twin

The twins just celebrated their birthday last weekend.

Twin birthday planning can be difficult, especially with boy/girl twins, because we need to have two different themes. Last year we did Frozen/Pokemon. Just try to make a unified-looking party with THAT combination.

I was setting up the table decorations for this year’s party (Barbie/Mario themed) and Little Boy was trying to help me.  I had one pink plastic tablecloth and one blue plastic tablecloth, so that the table could represent both themes at once.

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Little Boy was frustrated because he wanted the blue side to be bigger than the pink side.

“No,” I insisted. “Both sides have to be equal.”

“I wish it could be ALL blue,” he said.

GG was passing through the room. “Accept it, kid,” she remarked. “You had to share a womb; now you have to share a table.”

Older sisters are so sympathetic.

Please don’t post THAT

This young girl from church posted a pic of her … um… derrière on Instagram and Facebook.

(I’m talking about a girl who is over 18 here, by the way. I’m not calling her mother. I know that was your first thought. )

I was surprised to see said posterior on social media for all to see, of course. I mentioned it to my own daughter GG, age 15.

She was unfazed. “All the girls post their butts on Instagram, mom,” she said. “It’s like, a thing.”

I was shocked. “You’d better not do that,” I said sternly, realizing of course that what moms say often makes no difference to teenage girls. Still, I had to make the attempt.

She rolled her eyes. “Relax. I won’t. I don’t even have one.”

“What?” I said. “You don’t have a butt? This is your assurance to me?”

“No, mom,” she said patiently. “I don’t have an Instagram. So my butt is safe.”

NO BUTTS