The Biscuits

image from http://www.dishmaps.com
image from http://www.dishmaps.com

The Many Indignities of Air Travel

airplane
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So I’m coming down the aisle of a crowded plane with a backpack on my back.

The guy in front of me was putting up his suitcase in the overhead bin, but the only open one was apparently past his assigned seat. Therefore he had to go back up the aisle after stowing his luggage.

But of course when he turned around I was right there behind him.

I could not turn around in that narrow aisle with a backpack on, so I had to simply back up.

And my giant butt was hitting people from behind as I backed up.

So I started beeping like a truck in reverse until I got the right spot.

People were cracking up. I’m like, Wide load, people!! Coming through!!

You know, it’s amazing how air travel can humiliate you in ways you never thought possible.

 

 

 

We’re S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G

I went shopping with my teenage daughters and ended up in the clearance section. My favorite!

I love looking through clearance items. You find some great stuff for cheap sometimes, and you find some things that are obviously marked down for a good reason.

To amuse myself and embarrass my daughters, I pretended  to try on a leather bustier, a pair of ugly striped palazzo pants, a dress with an odd useless flap hanging from the back of it, a neon tube top, and a Justin Beiber shirt.

That last one of course required some in-store singing.

But my favorite item was probably this “unhoodie.”

It was just a hood and a zipper. Weird.

I’ll bet you wish you could shop with me, huh?

Well, I have an opening; my daughters aren’t going with me again anytime soon…