I’m a sucker for tabloids

Recently I was looking at the tabloid headlines in the grocery store line.

It’s not the first time, I’m embarrassed to say.

(For another story on that, click here.)

I noticed an article about the couple from the HGTV show “Flip or Flop,” who are getting a divorce.

Having just gone on a trip and spent many hours in a hotel room watching HGTV, I was extremely interested in this.

I had noticed that Tarek was a little mean to Christina on camera, (Yes, I’m on a first-name basis with the these people; I know them quite well, actually) and I really REALLY wanted to know what was happening BEHIND THE SCENES.

I had to buy this magazine. I put it in my cart.

Then I saw the National Enquirer was saying they had PROOF that Princess Kate was bulimic, and it all had to do with an incriminatingly placed band-aid.

Oh man! I wanted to know the significance of that band-aid.

But, I was already buying ONE tabloid. I felt that I might look like a real nut if I got two, so I resisted.

I went home and devoured the article on Tarek and Christina. As I suspected, he “reduced her to tears on multiple occasions” and “treated her like garbage,” according to “a source who witnessed it all.”

Oooh! I knew that guy was bad news!

Of course, I do understand that it’s unlikely their problems are so one-sided. Perhaps the pressures of being reality TV stars are really to blame.

The difficulties of being paid exorbitantly to have your everyday life filmed ARE quite high, I’m told. After all, look at John and Kate!  

This is why I personally have turned down all offers to make a reality TV show about my family, even though I realize we are quite fascinating, and I’m depriving the world of some first-class entertainment. No, we must remain anonymous in order to preserve our wholesome family life.

And I think I have to go back and get that National Enquirer…..

P.S. The band-aid was on Princess Kate’s middle finger!! Clear proof of bulimia, according to “a medical source who has not treated the princess.”

Wow, huh?

I can’t imagine what terrible things the band-aid I currently have on my pinkie toe might mean. Good thing I’m not famous.

Now I’m going to blog about toilet paper

Everyone has their own ideas about the “correct” way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Over or under? You make the call.

Still I think we can all agree that the most annoying thing is when someone simply refuses to replace the roll at all. Perhaps you’ve seen this floating around in Facebook:

image from pinterest.com

This makes me nuts.  When you try to balance the new roll on the holder instead of installing it you help no one.

I’ve seen full rolls of TP fall into the toilet because of poor balancing, which is a tragic waste. (Also it’s super gross to fish out the sodden roll and trash it.) This is messed up.

But sometimes, I realize, you just don’t want to spend that extra half-minute (half a minute!!!!) to install the new roll properly.

Okay.

At my house I think we actually have this problem solved. The toilet paper hangers are much easier to load and unload. Here’s how they look:


When we first moved in I was skeptical about whether these things would work properly. I wondered if the TP roll would actually stay on there.

The answer is: it stays really well when it is full, although you do need to learn not to spin the roll too vigorously, especially when it’s almost out.

At first we did have a few incidences of out-of-control flying (almost-empty) toilet roll. But really, we don’t need to spin it so crazily in any case, now do we? It only took a week or two to learn how to operate the TP properly.

And now everyone can replace the roll with minimum effort; therefore no one does this:


I think our toilet paper holder is quite superior.

Do you have a TP opinion? (Everyone does, I’m told!)

The Pet vs. The Rules

Our cat likes to sit at the top of the stairs.

Apparently this annoys Little Boy. He doesn’t like having to go past the kitty sentry to get up or down the stairs.

(In all fairness, the cat is kind of mean. He’s not above taking a swipe at passers-by. We are probably lucky he is a really small cat who can’t do much damage.)

Anyways, Little Boy came up with an idea to keep the cat from sitting in that spot.

He’s instituted a “No Kitty Zone” and posted signage to that effect.

So far we haven’t seen the best compliance level on this; the intended target can’t actually read the sign and the ban seems unenforceable.

We shall see what develops.