I saw this on Facebook. I guess it’s supposed to be inspiring?
You know what I say to that?
Yeah, I’ll stay humble.
I accidentally left wet clothes in the dryer overnight.
You know how sometimes you transfer the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer and then forget to switch the dryer on? When you do that, the clothes do not get dry. Amazingly enough.
I’m not kidding. Jack Frost had been in my DRYER.
This is because there is a small vent to the outside, apparently, and temperatures have dropped below -30 recently.
I guess I should be glad I don’t have to dry my clothes outdoors!
I was browsing Facebook after Christmas and I saw a picture of my friend’s young son with a toy rifle in his living room.
It was captioned something like, “He sure loves his Christmas present.” The kid was next to his father, who was showing him how to sight down the barrel.
Of course, I immediately thought of Ralphie in “A Christmas Story,” and the air rifle he wanted for Christmas.
So I commented with this meme, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
I thought that was pretty clever, but apparently my friend didn’t.
I guess it was offensive?
Seriously, though, it was a joke! I’m not anti-toy-gun! (I’ve even posted about that before.)
I’m not even anti-REAL-gun! I’m from ALABAMA, for crying out loud!
Anyways, my ex-friend, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.
I’ll try to be less offensive in the future.