I went out to lunch with a friend recently.
Unfortunately, the twins were out of school, so I had to drag them along.
My friend was very gracious about this, and refrained from comment as Little Girl jumped all over the seat, exposed her underwear to a neighboring table, and wondered aloud why her gourmet macaroni and cheese did not resemble Kraft Easy Mac.
But then the upholstery of my seat (ahem) made a noise.
Little Boy hollered at top volume: “Mommy! You FARTED!!”
My friend tried to pretend she didn’t hear anything.
I said calmly that I did not fart; my seat cushion made a noise. I demonstrated the noise by sliding around on the upholstery of the booth some more.
Little Boy scoffed openly at this.”That’s not the sound, Mommy. You made a sound like THHBBBTT!!! And that’s a FART! You FARTED!!!!”
He laughed uproariously.
My friend could not contain her own laughter at this point. And I know she was thinking, “Just admit you farted, girl. Your son’s not a fool.”
I don’t think she’ll be wanting to go anywhere with me for a while.
But let the record show: I did not fart. IT WAS THE SEAT!!!!!