Here’s a news flash: I’m tired.
No, seriously. I am really, REALLY tired.
Maybe there is something wrong with me, or maybe all mothers feel like this, but, most days, all I really want is a nap.
That’s actually my entire goal for the day. A NAP.
My kids are not on board with this. They want me to be awake and doing mom stuff. You know, like serving them.
Still, whenever I can, I go to my room and try to take a nap. I do not need the house to be quiet for this. I can sleep through the noise. I don’t even have to close the bedroom door.
But unfortunately, the kids still want stuff.
Some of the things they want I can do without much trouble. You’d be surprised what I can accomplish while lying down with my eyes closed.
Sometimes they don’t really want me to do anything at all; they just want to pretend to have informed me of things they’re not too keen to talk about.
But sometimes, they simply WILL NOT be ignored.
Sigh. I guess I’ll get up and do some mom stuff.
I accidentally left wet clothes in the dryer overnight.
You know how sometimes you transfer the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer and then forget to switch the dryer on? When you do that, the clothes do not get dry. Amazingly enough.
I’m not kidding. Jack Frost had been in my DRYER.
This is because there is a small vent to the outside, apparently, and temperatures have dropped below -30 recently.
I guess I should be glad I don’t have to dry my clothes outdoors!
I was browsing Facebook after Christmas and I saw a picture of my friend’s young son with a toy rifle in his living room.
It was captioned something like, “He sure loves his Christmas present.” The kid was next to his father, who was showing him how to sight down the barrel.
Of course, I immediately thought of Ralphie in “A Christmas Story,” and the air rifle he wanted for Christmas.
So I commented with this meme, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
I thought that was pretty clever, but apparently my friend didn’t.
I guess it was offensive?
Seriously, though, it was a joke! I’m not anti-toy-gun! (I’ve even posted about that before.)
I’m not even anti-REAL-gun! I’m from ALABAMA, for crying out loud!
Anyways, my ex-friend, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.
I’ll try to be less offensive in the future.
I was planning to take a bath later in the evening so I put my hair up on top of my head in a big clip before reading a story to my son, aged 9.
Little Boy looked at me with narrowed eyes as I sat down and opened the book to read. He remarked dispassionately, “Your hair looks ugly like that.”
I pointed out that it was impolite to tell someone that their hair looks ugly. (Particularly your mother, I did not add.)
He said he was aware of that. “But,” he pointed out, “if I don’t tell you, then you’ll just keep doing that with your hair…
“And it looks UGLY.”
I’m sure he has my best interests at heart.
(By the way, isn’t it creepy how Facebook knows EXACTLY what to advertise to me? It’s profiled me as a woman in her forties, so I get ads for cleaning products, wrinkle cream, and those panties you can pee yourself in and supposedly no one will know. To my younger friends who are thinking, “Ewwwww”– Just you WAIT!)
But I digress. It mostly gives me mom-related ads like these:
Just HOW does this solve the problem of having multiple kids?
Does it help moms grow extra arms?
Can it help restore a mother’s lost sanity?
At the very least, will it block some of the horrific noise generated by multiple children?
No? Then WHAT GOOD IS IT?!?!?
I took the twins to a holiday craft fair on a recent weekend and I noticed that my nine-year-old son may need some help responding appropriately to people in social situations.
He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “Why?” he asked. “Are you trying to FIND us?!”
(I guess you can’t get away with anything with this kid!)
But, of course, that was a stranger, I told myself. He’s not used to talking to strangers. Still, he seemed to also have a problem with people he knows.
Unexpectedly we saw his teacher in another booth. She greeted him by name and asked, “How are you?”
Again he seemed suspicious and said slowly, “I don’t know how to answer that.”
(Truthfully I think he was just confused at seeing his teacher outside of school. Isn’t she supposed to LIVE in the classroom?)