This is why they won’t sleep

Seriously, Just Go to Sleep
image from barnesandnoble.com

I put the twins to bed between seven-thirty and eight every night. Usually they fall asleep pretty quickly.

But one night last week it was after nine and I realized they were still up. I heard running feet, slamming doors, and screaming laughter upstairs.

I told them to lie down, but seconds later they were up and running again. They were really hyped-up. I couldn’t figure it out.

I decided to lie down in their room to make sure they didn’t get up again. After the expected I-have-to-go-potty-times-two died down, they were quiet.

In the silence of the bedroom I heard a soft but strange sound.

rustle rustle munch munch

What was that?

rustle rustle munch munch

It sounds like… I’m not sure…

rustle rustle munch munch

I jumped up and crossed quickly to Little Girl’s bed. Sure enough, she was eating Skittles. I confiscated them.

I dashed to the other side of the room and ripped a pack of Nerds from Little Boy.

They had stashed Halloween candy in their beds!!!

No wonder they weren’t asleep!

Polar Bears

(image from fanpop.com)

My husband and I saw one of those polar bear commercials for Coca-Cola.

  • Me: OOO! I love polar bears!
  • Him: Are you kidding?
  • Me: Look how cute they are!
  • Him: They’re bloodthirsty predators! They would kill you!
  • Me: Aw look! There’s Santa!
  • Him: They would rip Santa’s jolly head right off, you know.
  • Me: Be quiet. They’re adorable.

Obviously, what I love is cartoon polar bears.

Although when I was a kid they had some really cute real polar bears at the zoo that would wave at you. It was great! (I’m not kidding–ask anyone who grew up in Birmingham in the 70’s.)

Until the zoo management decided it was inhumane for us to throw them popcorn and forbade it. Then the bears would just sit there morosely in the heat of the Alabama summer and refuse to wave for free. I felt bad for them.

They probably would have rather been cartoon bears themselves…

Seven-Up Biscuits

Recipe for easy 7-up Biscuits

I’ve been seeing this recipe on pinterest and facebook for a while and I thought I’d try it.

It came out really well. Of course, with a stick of melted butter in the mix, how can you go wrong?

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The only note I’d add is, when is says “dough will be very soft”? It means, the “dough will be a big sticky mess.”

I could not cut it into neat circles; I just dropped globs into the pan.

Still, it was good.

By the way,  you can add shredded cheese and garlic and get something similar to Red Lobster cheese biscuits.

Yummy!!

What’s my age again?

meflower

I went to a costume party the day after Halloween.

Here I am trying to look vaguely old-timey and spooky.

It was a party for grown-ups.

Of which I am one. A grown-up, I mean.

Not that you could tell it from the way I snickered when the hostess tried to show us a serious movie and someone kept making shadow puppets on the screen.

Funny Family Ecard: Who likes shadow puppets? Show of hands...
image from someecards

Like, alligator hands eating the credits, the ever-popular bunny ears, and my favorite: the random finger up the nose shadow. I giggled uncontrollably at all of these.

But I am an adult.

Really.

Having it your way?

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I wrote this for a Facebook status, but I didn’t include the strangest part. After the man finished getting dressed in the parking lot, he went inside TO WORK.

Yes indeed, he’d been getting his Burger King uniform on in full view of the lunch-rush drive-thru line at said restaurant.

By the way, witnessing that display did not in any way make me lose my appetite for a Whopper. With cheese.

image from 9logodesign.com

Small but Interesting Critters

We live in Hawaii, on the island of Oahu. It’s a tropical paradise, teeming with life, but you’d be surprised at some of the animals we don’t have here.

For one thing, there are no snakes in Hawaii. Also there are no squirrels. Weird, right?  And there is no rabies virus, but there are strict quarantine rules to keep it that way. But on to some critters we do see here:

Of course, I’ve already talked about the evil centipede.

Here are some other interesting little animals we’ve found on the ground recently.

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This little guy is a Jackson’s chameleon, a three-horned lizard that was apparently “accidentally” released into the wild here in the 70’s.

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This is an Oahu tree snail, and it’s native to Hawaii. Wikipedia says it’s endangered (all 40 different varieties!) but I’ll tell you, there’s an awful lot of them and they are HUGE. They don’t seemed threatened in any way.

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Ah, and this is one we like to call Exhibitionist Barbie. We found her sunbathing nude on our lawn. Judging from her pallor, I don’t expect she’s a native.

How to liven up homework time

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It’s quite a talent, but Little Girl actually managed to use her homework to insult her siblings. 

<<< Here she is snickering to herself about it.

The teacher wanted her to write and draw pictures about the beginning, middle, and end of her day.

Since her day includes lots of siblings, she saw an opportunity.

She drew her brother and announced to him: “This is you. You’re wearing a dress.”

She drew GG and said, “This is you screaming at me. This is me telling you to shut up.”

She drew Boo. “Look at these marks around Boo! They are stinky marks. Because she farted.”

I hope one day Little Girl can learn to use her powers for good.

Chuck E Cheese

Little Girl is terrified of Chuck E. Cheese.

(Not that I blame her. That giant mouse is creepy.)

This phobia was not alleviated in any way by the last party we attended at the Chuck E. Establishment. I think there was a sadistic individual inside the Chuck E. Costume that day.

chuckecheese

Call me crazy, but when the child is quaking, crying, and clinging to her mother’s legs, this should be a signal to BACK OFF.

Instead he kept advancing, coming AT HER past the other kids who actually liked him and wanted to touch him. 

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I’m like, Dude, what is wrong with you? Who said it was okay for you to put on a giant fuzzy head and hang around little kids?

Anyways, we finally escaped from the Evil Mouse and played video games, and Little girl began to enjoy herself.

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Then the birthday party started. And the Party Lady in charge of the festivities got all the kids to start pounding the tables and chanting, “Chuck E. CHEESE! Chuck E. CHEESE! Chuck E. CHEESE! “

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Little Girl got the most horrified look on her face. You could see her thinking, “They’re summoning him?! They are actually SUMMONING that demonic THING out of the EVIL ABYSS below??!!”

When Chuck E. finally answered the call and appeared, Little Girl was nowhere to be seen.

I finally found her shivering under the table, covering her eyes and ears.

Needless to say, we have not been back to Chuck E. Cheese’s since….