Home Sale Photos

Our time in Alaska is coming to an end and we will be moving on soon.

We don’t have official orders from the military yet, but we are getting prepared to move, and that means…

listing the house for sale.

This is not my favorite thing to do, of course, since it involves a lot of  cleaning up. I want to give the impression that this house is easy to clean and maintain, making it more desirable to buyers.

Still, I have been decluttering and straightening and all of that, and recently the real state photographer came to take pictures of the house.

When she arrived I was still frantically hiding things and making beds in the kids’ rooms. (I’d allowed myself an hour to get this done and that was not enough time. Astonishingly enough.)

I answered the door looking like a crazy person, blurting, “I’m-not-quite-done-with-the-kids-rooms-I’m-really-sorry!!” It was like five degrees outside but I was sweating like a pig.

The photographer was very calm and said she’d start downstairs and give me time to finish upstairs. She has probably dealt with crazy homeowners before.

By the time she came upstairs, I had finished. Fortunately. She photographed the upstairs and I watched nervously.

Then, oddly, the cat come out to see her.

This is odd because our cat NEVER comes out when people are over. He hides because he hates people. Seriously, he hates everyone in the world except my husband, whom he allows to pet him.

But here was Kitty, meowing and rolling over adorably and clearly wanting to be petted by this complete stranger! I told her the cat never acts like this, and he must like her for some reason.

She said, “Yeah; I’m really allergic to cats. I think they can tell because they always try to get me to pet them.”

Oh. So Kitty was manifesting his hate THIS time by NOT hiding.

Clever move.

Anyways, she left rather quickly, and she must not hold a grudge because the pictures came out great!

The kids said, and I quote, “It looks so much better than our real house!”

That’s the point, folks!

Rude Awakenings

Here’s a news flash: I’m tired.

No, seriously. I am really, REALLY tired.

Maybe there is something wrong with me, or maybe all mothers feel like this, but, most days, all I really want is a nap.

That’s actually my entire goal for the day. A NAP.

My kids are not on board with this. They want me to be awake and doing mom stuff. You know, like serving them.

Still, whenever I can, I go to my room and try to take a nap. I do not need the house to be quiet for this. I can sleep through the noise. I don’t even have to close the bedroom door.

But unfortunately, the kids still want stuff.

Some of the things they want I can do without much trouble. You’d be surprised what I can accomplish while lying down with my eyes closed.

Sometimes they don’t really want me to do anything at all; they just want to pretend to have informed me of things they’re not too keen to talk about.

 

But sometimes, they simply WILL NOT be ignored.

 

 

Sigh. I guess I’ll get up and do some mom stuff.

Another Alaska Problem

I accidentally left wet clothes in the dryer overnight.

You know how sometimes you transfer the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer and then forget to switch the dryer on? When you do that, the clothes do not get dry. Amazingly enough.

Anyways, the next morning when I looked in the dryer, the wet clothes had frost crystals all over them.

I’m not kidding. Jack Frost had been in my DRYER.

This is because there is a small vent to the outside, apparently, and temperatures have dropped below -30 recently.

I guess I should be glad I don’t have to dry my clothes outdoors!

 

I didn’t mean to be rude

I was browsing Facebook after Christmas and I saw a picture of my friend’s young son with a toy rifle in his living room.

It was captioned something like, “He sure loves his Christmas present.” The kid was next to his father, who was showing him how to sight down the barrel.

Of course, I immediately thought of Ralphie in “A Christmas Story,” and the air rifle he wanted for Christmas.

So I commented with this meme, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

Image result for "you'll shoot your eye out" meme

I thought that was pretty clever, but apparently my friend didn’t.

She actually unfriended me!!

I guess it was offensive?

Seriously, though, it was a joke! I’m not anti-toy-gun! (I’ve even posted about that before.)

I’m not even anti-REAL-gun! I’m from ALABAMA, for crying out loud!

Anyways, my ex-friend, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.

I’ll try to be less offensive in the future.

Useful Advice?

I was planning to take a bath later in the evening so I put my hair up on top of my head in a big clip before reading a story to my son, aged 9.

This hairstyle is called a “messy bun” when worn by models or celebrities, by the way.

I’m not sure what it’s called when I wear it, though.

Little Boy looked at me with narrowed eyes as I sat down and opened the book to read. He remarked dispassionately, “Your hair looks ugly like that.”

I pointed out that it was impolite to tell someone that their hair looks ugly. (Particularly your mother, I did not add.)

He said he was aware of that. “But,” he pointed out, “if I don’t tell you, then you’ll just keep doing that with your hair…

“And it looks UGLY.”

I’m sure he has my best interests at heart.

This ad is unhelpful

I saw a certain ridiculous advertisement on my Facebook wall.

(By the way, isn’t it creepy how Facebook knows EXACTLY what to advertise to me? It’s profiled me as a woman in her forties, so I get ads for cleaning products, wrinkle cream, and those panties you can pee yourself in and supposedly no one will know. To my younger friends who are thinking, “Ewwwww”– Just you WAIT!)

But I digress. It mostly gives me mom-related ads like these:

OK.

Just HOW does this solve the problem of having multiple kids?

Does it help moms grow extra arms?

Can it help restore a mother’s lost sanity?

At the very least, will it block some of the horrific noise generated by multiple children?

No? Then WHAT GOOD IS IT?!?!?