Back From Death’s Door

I’ve been sick all weekend.

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And by the above title, I do not mean I was “Knock-Knock-Knockin on Heaven’s Door.”

It’s more like, “Scratching Helplessly at the Doggie-Door of Death.”

I don’t get sick often, although it’s interesting to note I got sick at this same time last year.

(To read that heart-warming story click here.)

In any case, this time it was step throat that almost killed me.

But I did not die. I rose from my bed of sweat and snot and sickness, and I went forth… to cook for and clean up after people.

What an anti-climax, right?

My new living room rug

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I bought a new rug for the living room. Doesn’t it look nice?

It was on clearance. Really.

My husband came home and I proudly showed him the new rug. (I also mentioned the low price of course. Twice.)

He walked over and examined it. Then he patted it and said, “I’m sorry.”

I said, “WHAT? Why are you apologizing to a rug?! Because it had the bad luck to be bought by ME?!”

He shrugged and nodded a little. “Well,” he added. “You know that everything in our house gets destroyed.”

The sad thing is, I can’t even argue with that.

Trash Day Tragedy

One Tuesday morning, I was calmly brushing my teeth when I heard a rumbling noise outside.

Hmm, I thought. That sounds like a the trash truck. Good thing I put the trash out last night.

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Then I thought, Wait, DID I put the trash out last night?

I remember INTENDING to put the trash out.

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But when I first thought of the trash, it was raining out. “I’ll do it later,” I told myself.

I remembered again after dinner. ‘I’ll do it after I finish the dishes,” I told myself.

The next time I remembered, I was already in bed. “I’ll do it in the morning,” I told myself.

GAH!!!! I realized. IT’S MORNING NOW!!!!

I ran downstairs and flew out the front door… in time to see the trash truck disappearing down the street.

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I know they saw me chasing them.

I can’t imagine why they didn’t stop…