Now you’re just being mean

spam

I moved my blog here in hopes of getting more traffic and more comments.

Well, I’ve definitely gotten more comments. The problem is, they are almost all SPAM!

So I think people actually like me, but it is only a CRUEL TRICK.

It is terrible, because I got so excited today when it said “3 NEW COMMENTS” and then I clicked on it and the comments are:

#1. Leftover food can also, be sealed and kept in these, to keep the aroma and taste intact, as the moisture and oxygen cannot penetrate through it and always keep a gap of at least 3 inches, from the main food product, in order, to keep the sealing of the food stable.

#2. You should try this company for getting more traffic: http://gmbal.com/079x – I use it on all of my blogs and I am very happy. This service will get you targeted website visitors with no effort on your part. Thank me later!

 #3. Probably Philadelphia, too. I suspect that Chris Ivory is a better runner than Bilal Powell, but Powell is starting and is largely undrafted. Ivory sometimes is a fifth-round fantasy pick. Powell also is the primary goal-line runner given the Jets plan to use the wildcat in short yardage (hes the quarterback in that set).

WHAT?!

I mean, #2 I get; that’s a straightforward sales pitch. But the others? Who exactly are you people targeting?

And it’s just mean to get my hopes up that people are actually reading and liking my blog, when you only want to say some random thing about FOOD STORAGE!!!

A blonde woman is shouting forward with both of her hands tied with a coil of rope. She is sitting atop a railway line. Above the woman the words "Taylor Swift" and "Mean" are written in grey color. Next to her is a man with a handlebar moustache wearing a black top hat. He is standing astride with an open clasp and his eyes are looking towards the woman.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_(song)

Bad spammers. BAD!!!

Like Taylor Swift said…

All you are is MEAN.

 

You’re turning me into a freak

I’m starting to put the library books I’m reading into ziploc bags.

Why? you ask?

What kind of a freak does that? you ask?

Alistair in Outer Space

Well, the quirky hero of the kids’ book “Alistair in Outer Space” did something similar.

This is a story about a nerdy kid who store his shows in plastic bags and always washes his hands before reading library books. And he gets abducted by aliens.

But I digress.

(image from barnesandnoble.com)

The problem for me is, recently the library has accused me TWICE of inflicting “water damage” on books I have returned, and wanting to charge me $2 for it.

We are not talking books dropped in the bathtub or otherwise rendered unreadable. We are talking about small water droplets on a page or two that may have been there when I checked the book out. Or that may have dropped on the book while I was reading it.

Not that I can prove it one way or the other.

But my point is: The book is still FINE. You can read it. All the pages are there. It’s not brand-new any more, granted, but why should it be?

It’s not a new book. People have read it. It’s a LIBRARY BOOK.

Now I’ve had my troubles with the library in the past. (Click here if you want to read about it.) And I really don’t want to get on their bad side. They have bouncers.

And it is only two bucks.

But STILL!! Where will this end?

Must I photograph each book when I check it out? Must I read only in a hermetically sealed room? Must I scream NO DON’T TOUCH ME!!!! when my kids come near me and I am reading?

Anyways, I’m trying the ziploc bag thing. And then we’ll see.

Moms are so embarrassing!

Everyone has a story about being embarrassed by their mother when they were younger. Some are worse than others, of course.

(For a story about how I embarrassed my own teenager click here.)

My personal embarrassing memories are pretty tame.

For example, I was extremely mortified by my mother when I was in junior high school because she would drop me off RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MALL instead of hiding down the street like any respectable parent should, thus exposing to the world that I, in fact, was reliant on parents for transportation and not a fully independent unit at the ripe age of 13.

Obviously, I was a dumb spoiled kid. Don’t even get me started on the time my grandma picked me up from school and actually WAVED from her car. Where people could SEE her! Shudder.

Anyways, like I said, my embarrassment was not so bad.

But I have a friend who was in seventh grade when her mother announced to everyone they knew, “My little girl is a Woman now!”

She says she still hasn’t forgiven her mom for that one.

But I think the kid that wins Most Embarrassing Mom, hands-down, is this one:

Image from Time via USA Today

You remember this mother and son from Time magazine a couple of years ago?

This kid should be, what, in kindergarten or first grade now? Imagine when he gets to middle school.

Shudder.

Duped by the tabloids

Photo_7CCD39AA-BF9D-E463-959E-37D9EB4CDA25I like to read the tabloid headlines while I’m waiting in line at the store.

Oh, come on! You know you do it too!

But the other day one magazine interested me so much I had to buy it:

Photo_459C6E29-7F23-D564-4A4E-040FFB947EDF

I just HAD to know about Angelina Jolie and how she was pregnant with twins again!

(In my defense, I have a lot in common with Angelina. I am a mother of twins myself. And a brunette. And… Okay, I guess that’s where our similarities end.)

So, as a fellow mother, I wanted to read all about this. Could she really be pregnant with twins AGAIN? There was an ultrasound of two babies right on the cover!

I mean, it does happen! Once you’ve had twins, you’re more likely to do it again.

Which is why I’ve had my tubes tied, but I digress.

Even the drugstore checkout girl was interested in the cover of the magazine. “Wow!” she said. “Is she really pregnant with twins again?” We discussed it at length.

Anyways, the short answer is…

She’s NOT.

Inside the magazine, you find that the only facts they actually have is that “a source” says that Angelina is “interested” in having more children, and that she might “consider” in-vitro and “possibly” have twins again.

LAME.

And that ultrasound on the cover?

In tiny tiny letters (white on gray) it says, “Ultrasound could look like this.”

I was FISHED IN!!!

Well played, OK Magazine.