Mysteries and Thrillers

I like to read. A lot. Click on the “what I’m reading” link above to find out more about that if you want.

I read all kinds of books but I particularly like mysteries and thrillers. Probably because there is so little that is mysterious or thrilling in my real life.

News flash: my real life is extremely BO-ring.

Recently I solved a mystery in my own home, however. It was called: where did all the drinking glasses go?

glasses1

Then my husband brought home all the dishes he’d apparently been hoarding in his car and/or his office.

glasses2

Aha! Mystery solved.

BO-ring.

I still think that elf is creepy

The Elf on the Shelf: An Elf's Story
barnesandnoble.com

Last year I wrote about the Elf on the Shelf.

Guess what? I still don’t like that elf.

And now he has his own MOVIE?!

Here’s a synopsis (from target.com):

“An Elf’s Story is the inspirational tale of Chippey, the enthusiastic young scout elf who is assigned by Santa to restore Taylor’s belief in Christmas magic. In spite of Taylor’s twin sisters’ joy at having an elf from the North Pole as a guest in their home, he breaks the number one Elf on the Shelf rule and touches Chippey in a boyish act of defiance.

The elf loses his Christmas magic; the entire McTuttle family loses its scout elf, and both Taylor and Chippey lose their self-respect. Through the power of love and forgiveness, both of them learn that true belief cannot be taught.”

They lose their SELF-RESPECT?! What kind of a creepy story is this?

And what exactly is “inspirational” about an elf watching you all the time?

I’m sorry. I still don’t get this.

I read a scary book

12959658
image from goodreads.com

I realize this doesn’t look like a scary book. But that’s because it’s specifically designed to frighten ME personally.

(The book is Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray.)

In this story the protagonist, a doctor’s wife and mother of nearly-grown children, suddenly turns invisible. And no one in her family notices.

 As long as they get their dinners cooked and laundry washed, they don’t care if Mom is there or not. Wow, huh?

I’m pretty sure this could happen in my house rather easily. 

This idea REALLY scared me, so I asked my husband and daughter:

  • Me: Would you notice if I turned invisible?
  • GG: What?
  • Hus: Are you kidding? What are you talking about?
  • Me: Well, there’s this book I’m reading. I wondered… Like if you kept getting your food on time and stuff, would you notice if I just disappeared?
  • GG: Of course I would.
  • Hus: Where’s the food coming from?
  • Me: Well, from me. I’d just be invisible.
  • Hus: That’s stupid.
  • Me: But would you notice?
  • GG: I mean, it might take me a while, but by nighttime I’d be like, Where’s Mom?
  • Hus: I’d call the police. I’d say, Hey, my wife is gone and some stranger freak is putting out food.
  • GG: Yeah that’s creepy.
  • Me: But, I mean… would you notice? That I wasn’t there?
  • Hus: What kind of books are you reading anyways?
  • GG: So…what’s for dinner?

Needless to say, these were not reassuring answers.

But I guess it’s about what I would have expected.

So I guess I’ll go make dinner now…

You’re turning me into a freak

I’m starting to put the library books I’m reading into ziploc bags.

Why? you ask?

What kind of a freak does that? you ask?

Alistair in Outer Space

Well, the quirky hero of the kids’ book “Alistair in Outer Space” did something similar.

This is a story about a nerdy kid who store his shows in plastic bags and always washes his hands before reading library books. And he gets abducted by aliens.

But I digress.

(image from barnesandnoble.com)

The problem for me is, recently the library has accused me TWICE of inflicting “water damage” on books I have returned, and wanting to charge me $2 for it.

We are not talking books dropped in the bathtub or otherwise rendered unreadable. We are talking about small water droplets on a page or two that may have been there when I checked the book out. Or that may have dropped on the book while I was reading it.

Not that I can prove it one way or the other.

But my point is: The book is still FINE. You can read it. All the pages are there. It’s not brand-new any more, granted, but why should it be?

It’s not a new book. People have read it. It’s a LIBRARY BOOK.

Now I’ve had my troubles with the library in the past. (Click here if you want to read about it.) And I really don’t want to get on their bad side. They have bouncers.

And it is only two bucks.

But STILL!! Where will this end?

Must I photograph each book when I check it out? Must I read only in a hermetically sealed room? Must I scream NO DON’T TOUCH ME!!!! when my kids come near me and I am reading?

Anyways, I’m trying the ziploc bag thing. And then we’ll see.