Brangelina

Have you seen this thing circulating on the internet?

It creeps me out.

Brad Pitt about his Lady:“My girl got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get separated soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the MOST Beautiful Woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute. I gave her a lot of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.”

Okay. First off, this is MESSED UP on so many levels.

Love her to the point of madness? So she’ll become WHAT exactly? Mad?

This is freaky. It’s like in Twilight, where Edward watched Bella sleep without her knowing; it’s supposed to be romantic, but it’s just crazy and disturbing.

(I’m not even mentioning the odd grammatical errors in this piece.)

And second off, BRAD PITT DIDN’T WRITE THIS.

I checked. (Look at snopes if you want.)

And I’m really glad to know it’s a fake.

Because if Angelina looks like she does AND gets showered with flowers kisses and compliments every day, getting surprised and pleased from a husband as hot as Brad Pitt…. AND HE WANTS HER TO GAIN WEIGHT!!!!

…I can’t live in a world that unfair. I just can’t.

Duped by the tabloids

Photo_7CCD39AA-BF9D-E463-959E-37D9EB4CDA25I like to read the tabloid headlines while I’m waiting in line at the store.

Oh, come on! You know you do it too!

But the other day one magazine interested me so much I had to buy it:

Photo_459C6E29-7F23-D564-4A4E-040FFB947EDF

I just HAD to know about Angelina Jolie and how she was pregnant with twins again!

(In my defense, I have a lot in common with Angelina. I am a mother of twins myself. And a brunette. And… Okay, I guess that’s where our similarities end.)

So, as a fellow mother, I wanted to read all about this. Could she really be pregnant with twins AGAIN? There was an ultrasound of two babies right on the cover!

I mean, it does happen! Once you’ve had twins, you’re more likely to do it again.

Which is why I’ve had my tubes tied, but I digress.

Even the drugstore checkout girl was interested in the cover of the magazine. “Wow!” she said. “Is she really pregnant with twins again?” We discussed it at length.

Anyways, the short answer is…

She’s NOT.

Inside the magazine, you find that the only facts they actually have is that “a source” says that Angelina is “interested” in having more children, and that she might “consider” in-vitro and “possibly” have twins again.

LAME.

And that ultrasound on the cover?

In tiny tiny letters (white on gray) it says, “Ultrasound could look like this.”

I was FISHED IN!!!

Well played, OK Magazine.