Playing house

Little Girl (age 7) was playing house out in the yard with the neighbor kids. She had laid out a few beach towels and set up her stuffed animals on one.

Little Boy (her twin) came up and asked if he could play.

“I’m the Mommy,” she said. “And P is the daddy. You can be one of the kids.”

Little Boy joined the game just as P (the neighbor boy) started wandering off to play with a toy riding car.

“Husband?” Little Girl called after him from her position on the beach towel with the stuffed animals. “Are you going to work? Okay. I will sit here and read.”

And she pulled out a book and opened it in her lap, bending her head studiously.

So… THAT’S how I look to my kids….

reading

It’s Hard to Be a Twin

The twins just celebrated their birthday last weekend.

Twin birthday planning can be difficult, especially with boy/girl twins, because we need to have two different themes. Last year we did Frozen/Pokemon. Just try to make a unified-looking party with THAT combination.

I was setting up the table decorations for this year’s party (Barbie/Mario themed) and Little Boy was trying to help me.  I had one pink plastic tablecloth and one blue plastic tablecloth, so that the table could represent both themes at once.

IMG_2319

Little Boy was frustrated because he wanted the blue side to be bigger than the pink side.

“No,” I insisted. “Both sides have to be equal.”

“I wish it could be ALL blue,” he said.

GG was passing through the room. “Accept it, kid,” she remarked. “You had to share a womb; now you have to share a table.”

Older sisters are so sympathetic.

Trick or Treat

When the twins got back from trick-or-treating I immediately began inspecting their candy.

I could have been looking for safety reasons, trying to find suspicious-looking things like unwrapped candies or (gasp!) home-made treats.

I wasn’t, of course.

Pawing through Little Girl’s plastic pumpkin, I asked, “Did you get anything good?”

“Oh yes,” she said excitedly. “I got a BOOK.”

trickortreat

I gave her a look. “Yeah. Okay. I was kind of thinking maybe Resse’s cups…”

The Water Bottle

The twins got off the school bus on Friday full of excitement.

waterbottle

Little Girl said, “Guess what? Some one threw a water bottle out of the bus window and the bus driver yelled, ‘Whose water bottle was that?’ but no one said anything. The bus driver was really mad about it.” She was bursting with pleasure at relaying this bit of gossip.

I have noticed this with all my kids at this age. They LOVE to tell you what the “bad kids” did at school. They’ll say “Tyler went on red because he wouldn’t put away his lunchbox,” or “Sophie had to stay in from recess when she didn’t finish her work.”

It used to really annoy me, and I’d say stuff like, “I don’t care what Tyler or Sophie did. What did YOU do?” But later I realized that it’s pretty normal for young children to be fascinated by bad behavior, whether or not it actually had anything to do with themselves.

To be honest, I don’t think this tendency to relish in the “bad-ness” of others goes away as we age. That’s what we have tabloids for. I mean, I love reading about celebrity scandal as much as the next adult, right? (“Simon got his best friend’s wife pregnant! Ooooh!”)

Anyways, I was unconcerned about the school-bus-water-bottle scandal. I figured the culprit would be easily revealed by the name that someone’s mother had probably written on the missing vessel. Then I noticed that Little Boy’s water bottle was not in its pocket on his backpack.

I said, “Where’s your water bottle?”

Little Boy looked back at the pocket where his water bottle was supposed to be. “Uh oh,” he said.

And what was the name that bus driver was looking for? MY KID.

The ABC’s of My Trip

I just flew across the ocean with my kids. Twice.

This is not the first time I’ve made this trip. Nor will it be the last, unfortunately. But this is the first time I’ve decided to make an illustrated alphabetical list about the trip.

ENJOY.

applejuice

Little Girl was highly suspicious of the apple juice on the airplane. “Why is it in a CAN?! It’s supposed to be in a box.”

bellybutton

One of the highlights of the trip was the display of (and discussion about) what Little Girl found in her her belly button.

  • LG: What is this?
  • Me: It’s just dirt.
  • LG: EW! Dirt?
  • Me: It’s no big deal. Everyone has dirt in their belly button.
  • LG: Everyone does?
  • Me: Yes, everyone.
  • LG: Even brand-new BABIES?!
  • Me: Okay. Maybe not everyone…

complain

This picture speaks for itself, I think.

dietcoke

Diet Coke was about the only thing keeping me going on these marathon flights. Well, and M-n-M’s…

earbuds

The problem with airline earbuds is that they are made for grown-up-sized ears. They simply refuse to stay in the ears of small children! I thought I had solved this problem this year by packing headbands to wrap around the twins’ heads and hold the earbuds in, but they still fell out. Over and over and over.

Perhaps I should have considered duct tape…

famished

It still amazes me that they refuse to feed you ANYTHING while you are trapped on an airplane for ten hours. Unless you pay extra…

growth

Boo (age 11) discovered there was a downside to having grown about a foot taller since our last overnight flight. She couldn’t get comfortable in her seat at all.

So she got enjoy my usual overnight flight pastime: Watching all the people who can sleep on airplanes snooze away… and HATING THEM ALL.

howmuchlonger

Truthfully I like it when the screens on the airplane show you how much longer you have to go until landing. 

But I like it less when I have to keep reading it out loud to little kids, and translating the time into the number of minutes.

ihavetogopotty

This problem wasn’t helped much by all the apple juice consumed on the flight.

justgotosleep

There’s a point in the middle of  a REALLY long flight when you think you’re not going to survive to see land again. EVER.

I have been there.

killmenow

 

atleast

I just put in a little flashback here to last year’s trip to remind me that things could always be worse.

Because they can.

manbutton

The twins were obsessed with the call-flight-attendant button once they’d discovered it, which was fortunately not until the last flight.

  • Me: Don’t press the man button.
  • Them: But what happens if we press it?
  • Me: Just DON’T.
  • Them: But what happens?
  • Me: Please. Just DON’T.
  • Them: Hey! I saw one in the bathroom too!
  • Me: Don’t press it.

noteven

 

only20

So to take our minds off the torture of overseas air travel with children, let’s go back and visit the torture of navigating giant airports with children.

panic

Yep. Little Girl had a full-on panic attack at the top of the escalator and refused to go down. Meanwhile the rest of us, and her travel pillow, sailed down the escalator alone.  

Good times.

Another thing taking my mind off travel was the quilt I’ve been working on. I’m hand-sewing a quilt made of several thousand identically-sized triangles.

As of the middle of the trip I’d finished a center panel consisting of 36 squares, each containing 36 triangles. That’s 1,298 triangles all together, if you didn’t realize. And that’s not even the whole quilt yet.

quilt

Yes, that would be be the aforementioned apple juice spilling on my needlework.

Sigh.

 reallyhate

 

stuck

 

tranquilizer

 

Unfortunately, no tranquilizers were available.

Despite the apple-juice mishap, I continued sewing as much as I could. Although it is a problem to keep up with things in those tiny airplane seats.

undertheseat

It is REALLY hard to reach things when they fall under there.

But like I said, remember it could always be worse.

vomit

 

Once that crisis was safely averted, we settled back into mid-flight boredom.

 

 

 

whoseidea

 

There was some trouble when Little Girl caught sight of the safety information card.

xplain

 

  • Her: Why does it show the airplane going in the water?
  • Me: No, it’s just telling you what to do in case it goes in the water.
  • Her: Why would it go in the water? It’s not a boat. It’s a plane.
  • Me: Well, it wouldn’t. You’re right. We’re flying OVER the ocean.
  • Her: So why does it show the people floating in the water?
  • Me: Well, you know, just in case.
  • Her: In case what?
  • Me: In case the plane…goes down…in the water….
  • Her: It might go down in the WATER?!
  • Me: It won’t.
  • Her: But what if it does?!
  • Me; It won’t.
  • Her: But the PICTURE?!
  • Me: Let’s just put that away, shall we?

And now we are coming to the end of the alphabet, finally. Just as we EVENTUALLY came to the end of the airplane trip.

youvegottabekidding

 

zero

That’s My Boy

photo (7)

Little Boy is six years old. 

It’s a tough life for him because he has –count them!– FOUR older sisters. Even his twin sister is three minutes older than he is. 

The bright side of this is that he really knows how to get along with girls.  And he’s used to taking orders from them too!

Good training for becoming a husband one day, right?

He even knows how to sweet talk already. Whenever his teenage sister gets upset with him, he quickly says, “You’re beautiful, GG!”

Now who could resist that? 

A Conversation Between the Twins

photo (5)

Little Boy: Do you know the name of my best friend at school ?
Little Girl: No. 
Little Boy: It starts with a D. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Dominick?
Little Boy: No. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Dustin?
Little Boy: No. Duh duh duh…
Little Girl: Just tell me. 
Little Boy: Dakota. 
Little Girl: Okay. 
Little Boy: But I don’t think you would like him. 
Little Girl: Why not?
Little Boy: Because he’s a boy. 
Little Girl: You’re right. I don’t like him. 
Little Boy: I thought so. 
Little Girl: If you see him you can tell him this. 
Little Boy: What?
Little Girl: Tell him I stuck out my tongue at him. 
Little Boy: Ok. 

This is Why We Don’t Go Shopping Very Often

I took the kids to “Bed Bath and Beyond” because GG (aged 14) wanted to buy a complicated hair straightening tool. I really don’t know why.

  • Me: But you already HAVE a hair straightener.
  • GG; It doesn’t work well enough.
  • Me: And besides, your hair is already straight.
  • GG; It isn’t straight ENOUGH.
  • Me: Whatever.

So the older girls went looking at the beauty items and I took the twins wandering around the store. The employees were less than overjoyed to see us.

shopping

The twins  had something to say about everything there.

(in the home fragrance section)
Little Girl: Is this the candle that gives you a bad headache when you smell it?

(in the window treatment section)
Little Boy: Watch me crawl behind all the curtains! Whoops. Some of them fell…

(in the bedding section)
Little Girl: Is the reason they won’t let you sit on the beds because they are afraid you will fart?

(in the furniture accessories section)
Little Boy: Buy WHY can’t we buy this bean bag chair that looks like giant pair of lips?

No one was sorry to see us go…

They are getting smarter

note2

The twins are at the end of their first year of big school, and they have grown a lot in Kindergarten.

Here are their spring pictures on the wall. Aren’t they cute?

They are learning to read and write as well.

This is exciting because is means that they no longer have to be limited solely to verbal communication.

Now they can insult each other in writing!

note

It just brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?