Organize Your Junk Drawer?

I spent several hours organizing my “junk drawers.” (Yes, I have TWO in this house.)

junk1They were a mess. How long has it been since they were sorted?

Well… I found this actual canister of FILM.

How long has it been since you’ve seen one of these?

There’s no before picture. I’m just too embarrassed.

But here is the after:

junk4

 

junk3

 

As my husband said, now they are not “junk drawers,” just “drawers.”

And as my daughter said, “I give it a week before they’re a mess again.”

(Trying to) Have a Nice Dinner

candleA friend of mine made a bunch of these cool candle holders from “sparkling-cider” bottles for a ladies’ lunch with an Italian food theme.

After the lunch was over, she said they were up for grabs, so I took a pair.

I think they are very beautiful, reminiscent of red-checked-tableclothed restaurants and violin trios playing.

I thought of Lady and the Tramp eating spaghetti with meatballs as I set the table for dinner. This looks romantic, I thought.

My family did not agree.

dinner

“What’s this?!” said Boo suspiciously. 

“Are we pretending to be fancy?” asked Little Boy.

Little Girl exclaimed, “They look like there is throw-up on them!”

And my husband’s mental associations were a little different from mine. They reminded him of an old shack he’d found in the woods as a kid, one that local hoodlums were using a drug den.

Not exactly romantic…. but I tried!

Mysteries and Thrillers

I like to read. A lot. Click on the “what I’m reading” link above to find out more about that if you want.

I read all kinds of books but I particularly like mysteries and thrillers. Probably because there is so little that is mysterious or thrilling in my real life.

News flash: my real life is extremely BO-ring.

Recently I solved a mystery in my own home, however. It was called: where did all the drinking glasses go?

glasses1

Then my husband brought home all the dishes he’d apparently been hoarding in his car and/or his office.

glasses2

Aha! Mystery solved.

BO-ring.

The cat wants attention

Usually the cat is not interested in me at all, ignoring the fact that I’m the one who feeds him and cleans out his litterbox. He loves his father best.

But then my husband went away for a week and the cat got lonely, following me around and meowing to be petted.

One night while my husband was gone, I was really tired and did not want to pet the cat any more, so I tried to lie still and demonstrate that I was asleep and could not be disturbed.

mecat

The cat started at me like a vulture for hours I think, but I persevered. I slept pretty well.

But the next morning  the cat knew just what to do. He went to the desk and sat directly on my Bible and devotional book, knowing I would be pickling it up.

He looked at me triumphantly, seeming to say, “You can’t avoid me now!”

mecat2

Okay. His father needs to come home. Now.

…..Want more stories about my cat? Click on one of the links below:

Cat Origin Story

Cat vs. Mouse 

Cat vs. Fish

Cat vs. Mouse Again

Cat vs. Another Fish

Zumba tried to kill me. (But my family didn’t help much either.)

http://www.zumbafran.com/

So I went to my first ever Zumba class yesterday.

I know, I know. I’m behind the times. Zumba has been popular for the last 10-15 years. But I am slow.

A fact that was driven home to me most forcefully during a high-energy exercise class with about fifty women in a mirrored room. I looked at my scared, stumbling, red-faced reflection and thought, Girl, you are SLOW.

But it’s okay. A kind Amazon woman next to me helped as much as she could, calling out LEFT! and RIGHT! and TURN!!!! I know she was thinking , This sad slow white girl is gonna die right beside me.

(By the way, I use the term Amazon in the most complimentary way possible. This lady was over six feet tall: dreadlocked, bejewled and gorgeous.)

When we finally got to the cool-down phase my Amazonian friend said, “You made it!” I think she was almost as  surprised as I was.

I took a picture outside the gym, and in my addled-by-exhaustion state, I posted it to facebook. This may be the most unflattering selfie ever, but it’s gotten more “likes” than any other picture I’ve posted.

Weird.

When I got home, all I wanted to do was take a shower and lie down. But of course, it didn’t work out that way.

As soon as I walked in from the garage, I saw my husband’s work pants sitting on top of the washing machine. (Code for, “I need these pants washed by tomorrow.”)  

Slowly I moved clean clothes from the dryer to the basket, wet clothes from the washer to the dryer, and put the pants in the washer along with any other dirty things lying around on the laundry room floor. My muscles groaned every time I bent over. I threw in soap and switched on both machines.

I shuffled out of the laundry room. I wanted to go straight up to my room. But I looked at the living room. Dirty dishes covered the coffee table. (I knew this was code for, “No one has done anything in the kitchen all night except eat and make a mess.”)

So I forced my legs to walk. I collected all the plates and took them to the sink. Unsurprised, I surveyed the leftover food (which I’d cooked before I left) spread all over the counter. Slowly, slowly, I bent to get out the tupperware and put everything away.

One of the twins yelled from upstairs, “Mommy! Are you home? Mommy!?” 

I stowed the food in the fridge and stacked the dishes in the sink. The other twin began yelling for me as well.  I started crawling up the stairs to put the twins to bed.

Now, let me point out that their father was with them. He made sure they’d had their baths and were ready for bed. But apparently, as soon as Mommy enters the area, Daddy is absolved of all kid responsibility by their mutual agreement. Even when Mommy feels on the brink of death.

After the twins were finally in bed, I told my husband that I was going to take a shower and then lie on my bed and die.

GG poked her head out of her room. “Before you die, Mom,” she said. “Can you make my bed up?”

It is amazing, the sympathy these people have for me.

My dishwasher has been disabled by ants

Recently I noticed an invasion of ants in my dishwasher.

I’ve never seen this before. I thought dishwashers were supposed to be clean!

I called an exterminator. He seemed unsurprised. He said dishwasher are a great place for ants to hang out, full of water and tiny bits of food. Ew.

ants

He set up poison baits inside the dishwasher and told me not to use it for a few days. Hopefully that will kill the ants and stop them from coming back.

But in the meantime, the dishes must be washed by hand.

IMG_0423By which of course, I mean that *I* have to wash the dishes by hand. No one else is likely to touch them.

I don’t even know why I put the “do not use sign” on the dishwasher since I’m the only one that ever opens the thing.

Well, me and the ants…

Talking to the gate guards

id

We lived on a closed Army post, and so we have to go through a checkpoint gate several times every day. I kind of feel sorry for the MP’s who have to stand there all day and look at people’s ID’s. I’m sure it is boring.

We were going through the gate late at night once when I met the most cheerful guard yet.

  • Guard. How are you ma’am?
  • Me. I’m fine and how are you?
  • Guard. I am wonderful!
  • Me. (driving away) hmmm. I suspect hyperbole.
  • Husband. (snorts) I suspect outright lying.

He’s such a cynic…

Kitty Woes

Our cat has a urinary infection of some kind.

My husband took him to the vet after we had noticed he was peeing on the floor and continually licking himself in an –ahem– delicate area.

The cat, I mean. My husband almost never pees on the floor.

I received the following text while the two of them were at the vet clinic.

IMG_8949

I’m not sure which one of them sent it.

In any case, now the cat has to take an antibiotic. Meaning, my husband has to catch him and force a pill down his throat twice a day.

Unfortunately, he gave the cat the first dose on our bed. Which is now covered in cat pee. This is either due to feline revenge, or as a symptom of the cat’s illness.

Either way, GROSS!!!!

Maybe I should have saved the cat from the vet and he’d feel more kindly towards me…

Cleaning the microwave

My friend sent me a pin about cleaning the microwave.

Easy way to clean your microwave - heat a bowl of water and vinegar for 5 minutes, the steam will dissolve stuck on stains. Simply wipe off.  Genius!!!!
Easy way to clean your microwave – heat a bowl of water and vinegar for 5 minutes, the steam will dissolve stuck on stains. Simply wipe off. Genius!!!!

Now I’ll admit that my microwave isn’t the cleanest on earth, so I tried this.

microwave

It worked pretty well, although it made the kitchen smell too vinegar-y. I think plain water would have been just as good.

Now that it’s clean I need to post a sign that says, 

“Put a paper towel on your Beefaroni, kids….

…and for the love of all that is good, PUT A PLATE UNDER YOUR HOT POCKET!!!”

The Scentsy Switch

I saw this tip on pinterest for switching scents in a melted-wax “Scentsy” warmer.

Place a cotton ball in your melted wax and watch it absorb before your eyes, after it's absorbed throw it away. Easy way to switch scents.
Place a cotton ball in your melted wax and watch it absorb before your eyes, after it’s absorbed throw it away. Easy way to switch scents.

I have two of these plug-in warmers in my house and they make it smell GREAT! The only “problem” is, you have to change out the scent every few days to keep it fresh. (I alternate upstairs and downstairs.)

Normally, what I do is switch off the warmer so that the wax hardens, and then gouge it out with the back of a (no-eraser) pencil.

scentsy4

It usually comes out pretty cleanly.  (Not counting the dead bug embedded in the wax above, of course.)

But I thought this cotton-ball tip was worth a try.

scentsy1

First of all, one cotton ball wasn’t enough.

scentsy2

And then the challenge was to get the cotton balls unstuck from my fingers and into the trash.

scentsy3

My fingertips still feel a little gucky.

Still, though, I guess this tip would work well enough if you didn’t want to wait for the wax to harden.

Probably it would be best with a GIANT cotton ball.